Rocking Horse

Look, between My Little Pony (which I have yet to cover) and Hobby Horses, I think it's safe to say that kids fucking love horses, alright?

That's the only reason I can come up with why so many old kids toys were centered around horses. And you don't need to be a scholar to recognize that this goes all the way back to the Roy Rogers craze of the 50s. Kids used to play outside as cowboys and ride around on brooms and pretend to shoot one another for being wanted criminals. This isn't something that only came into being sometime within our lives. But that being said, even I have to admit that the rocking horse must be the oddest of them all. My Little Pony makes sense; pastel colored ponies marketed - for a long time - exclusively to girls that were used to sell toys thanks to the popularity of the TV show. That's just kind of how things worked. And even Hobby Horses, weird as they may be, make sense. It's mobile, each one is unique, it's good for exercise. Hell, some had voiceboxes plopped inside of them so they could even whinny and neigh like actual horses. That's pretty cool.

But the rocking horse? Well that's a different story entirely.

The rocking horse, to me, has always seemed more like child friendly furniture than an actual toy, but it is in fact considered an actual toy. In fact, the toy appeared in a previous incarnation when a similar concept was utilized as tilting seats during the middle ages, used for Jousting practice, but the toy proper didn't appear until the 17th century. From the 19th century onward, rocking horses became more commonly considered a childrens toy, mostly built by hobby woodcrafters and their quality ranging from relatively crude to finely ornate. In fact, it wasn't even until the late 19th century that the production became industrialized.

And yet...it still comes across, to me anyway, more as furniture than toy. Something to put in your childs bedroom or play room, more to be admired than used. I, for one, have never understood what fun could be had from a rocking horse, which is odd because when I was a little girl (and hell, even today), I really enjoy things that allow me to move, like swingsets. I appreciate the stimulation they provide me with. So you'd think I'd like the rocking horse, but really, it never made much sense to me. It felt like playing on a chair, but a really nice chair that someone paid a lot of money for, and that I should get in trouble for playing on. To be fair, I only ever had one rocking horse and I barely remember it, so it could just be that I never really had much of a chance to appreciate what fun could come of it, but I don't think that's the case. I think it's just a boring toy.

And besides, unlike a Hobby Horse, you can't easily move it around with you. All you can do is sit on it and rock. Where's the fun in pretend play for that? All you could really do is stay stationary and make believe other stuff is chasing you, and while that can certainly be fun for a solid 10, maybe 15 minutes tops, eventually it grows thin.

And it isn't even a toy that other kids can play with you on. At least if other kids have their own Hobby Horse (or My Little Pony) you guys can play together, but who's mom is going to lug an entire 2nd rocking horse to your house simply so you two can pretend to be chased by banditos? It simply doesn't work. I'm all for the artistry, obviously being an artist myself, but as a toy? I'm sorry. I don't see it. Oddly enough, it was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame in 2004, so perhaps I'm simply not the one to be in charge of making those sorts of decisions for good reason. Clearly these people know something that I do not.

Either way, the rocking horse is one that has to be appreciated nonetheless - whether you agree it's a toy or simply glorified furniture - purely for the level of artistry that goes into producing them. It's not often you get something that is considered both a toy and a work of art, so it's kind of neat when you do. There's a level of craftsmanship that has to be admired, because anyone who puts that much time and effort into creating something obviously cares about the thing they're creating, and that's worthy of admiration. That doesn't mean I'd ever play on one though. But as far as something for very young kids to use? I suppose I could see the point to it, sure. It gives them a sense of stimulation without having to go outside, which is good when it's raining or something, and they can play make believe on some level, especially if they really want to be around real horses but can't for whatever reason. That level of immersion is always kinda worth it.

The rocking horse, though, is one of those older toys that I'll be covering (including Hula Hoops, the Jump Rope and the Jack in the Box) that is both baffling in its preconceived notion of enjoyment and yet somehow admirable for the fact that it's managed to survive as long as it has.

So here's to the Rocking Horse, a toy that, despite its age and seemingly incomprehensible playability, hasn't had to be taken out back and put down just yet. Do you think if a rocking horse breaks, they have to kill it? I mean, without its leg it's useless, right?

What is wrong with me.