Easy Bake Oven

The Easy Bake Oven is a classic, no doubts about it, perhaps because, more than anything, it's a toy that can be utilized as a real tool. Something that, as far as I know, hasn't really been done much before or since, at least not on the same technical level, and especially not on the same level of success, that's for damn sure. It also is one of those rare toys that really does look better in its original conception than its later reproductions, because just look at this thing, okay? It actually LOOKS like a tiny oven. Adorable. It also has a great design overall, plus the multiple colors it came in, and just...oh man, this is fantastic vintage stuff right here, folks. I want one now. Sadly, this was yet another toy that I, despite growing up as a girl (and still being one), never got to play with. Then again, I'm also the literally most inept person to ever be let loose in a kitchen, so maybe that's for the best. Plus I have an immense fear of stoves/ovens.

Either way, Easy Bake Oven is a classic we all recognize, and even if you didn't ever play with one, you definitely at least knew of it. It was one of those totally inescapable toys that plagued your childhood, despite never actually belonging to you. It's history of being referenced in television shows, movies and much much more is well documented and its place in the annals of pop culture is secure.

Originally introduced in 1963 by Kenner, now produced by Hasbro, it is literally what it sounds like. An actual honest to god working tiny oven that bakes delicious little treats. Kenner sold 500,000 in the first year of its production alone, okay? Those are some big goddamned numbers, especially for that time period. That's almost Mr. Potato Head big. By 1997, however, more than 16 million - yeah, MILLION - coming in 11 different variations had been sold. That's nutso. I'm not even going to go into how an Easy Bake Oven works because for one, you probably are already all too familiar with that, and second, because who the hell cares, we all know what a fucking oven does. While it was originally heated by two 100 watt incandescent bulbs and came in either a pale Yellow or a Turquoise that resembled an absolutely killer conventional oven, this design has obviously changed over the years. There was an updated "Premier" model that came in either Avocado Green or Red, released in 1969 and a "Mod" model in Yellow or Light Green in 1971. Really kept up with the fashions of the time, didn't they?

But, alas, Easy Bake Oven is one of those toys whose continued remodeling couldn't outdo itself forever, because sadly, once we hit the mid 2000s, stuff just started to get...ugly. See, the thing about stuff from the past, be it architecture, furniture or what have you, is each decade had its own truly unique style and artistic sensibility, visually. Airstreamed and minimal, gaudy or chic. It was all fantastic. But after the mid 2000s, everything just kind of started looking the same. This is why old cars and fantastic looking and new cars look like a low poly asset in an early Playstation title. Boring. Bland. Uninspired. And the Easy Bake Oven, being a toy that traditionally tried to update its image to be cohesive with the times, was also sadly affected by this because our ovens became, quite frankly, ugly and even worse, the later models just straight up resembled a fucking Microwave.

But while Easy Bake Oven faltered due to their unimpressive visual updates, which to be fair isn't entirely their fault really, they certainly succeeded in the market of being popular across gender lines. In fact, after Kenner was acquired and thusly shuttered by Hasbro, they introduced something called the Real Meal Oven, which not only allowed you to cook not just larger portions of something but two at once, but also the neutral colors of the toy were more popular among the male marketplace, much to parents joy. Hell, the damn thing even won 2003's Best Toy Parenting Magazine's Toy of the Year Award. Sadly, after this, in 2006, a new model was released which, due to a design malfunction, led to multiple children being burned, including a 5 year old girl who wound up having to have her finger amputated due to a severe burn she attained from getting her fingers caught in a gap in the door. They quickly recalled all the models they could, but alas, a good portion of them are still in circulation.

This was, coincidentally, the same year the toy was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame, so, you win some you lose some I suppose. Kind of shook out even for them, really.

One of the coolest aspects of Easy Bake Oven, to me anyway, is how culturally adored it is, to the point where there's a goddamned holiday for this toy! National Easy Bake Oven Day, November 4th, which is the day the toy was originally released back in 1963. The day was established by a toy historian named Todd Coopee in 2017 as a "way for individuals to reflect on their affection for the iconic toy oven and its role in popular culture."

And while I'm certain there's a subset of feminists - of which I admittedly am one, not one of these anyway, but a feminist nonetheless - who might decry the toy as being an outmoded example of misogyny and base gender roles for young girls, and while I can see their point because that was the time period and thus the belief in society then, I also think it goes without saying that they should shut the fuck up. It's a TOY. Pick your battles, ladies, come on, we can do better than this. While you cannot deny the implications the toy had at the time, trying to lure young girls into believing - especially since it was primarily marketed towards them then - that being a homemaker and knowing how to cook for your family was all that mattered, it's also ridiculous to try and place all that blame solely on a piece of metal and plastic that makes half baked treats that barely resemble cookies. Sure, 1963, women weren't nearly as common in the workplace as they are today, especially not in the roles they had where they were primarily switchboard operators or secretaries, thusly considered a "lower" level job beneath men, but it was still the 60s, man, and things were changing.

Easy Bake Oven is, if anything, the dying wail of the 50s housewife symbolism. It's a hark back to what your grandfather likely calls "the good ol' days", when women couldn't vote and black people couldn't date white women. Rest assured, those were not the good ol' days. I don't know when the good ol' days were, exactly - they sure as shit aren't right now, I can at least guarantee you that much that things still haven't improved substantially - but they also definitely weren't then. So why do people call them "the good ol' days"? Well, it's all about style, as I said at the start. Cars, furniture, buildings, clothing, everything was sleek and beautiful and well designed and expertly crafted, and that's what they actually want to go back to. A time where visual mattered in day to day life. Sure, Tumblr might have a boner for the whole "aesthetic" thing, and so do I, but it's not exactly the same, because to call it an "aesthetic" means you're doing it solely for the visual, but these were times where the visuals were just there, like we were.

Easy Bake Oven is, to me, the end of an era and the beginning of the ushering in of a new one. It's a toy right on the cusp of decade difference, of generational change, or societal boundary breaking. It's a toy that really came from one era but existed throughout all the next because, frankly, girl or boy, man or woman, everyone should know how to cook. I know I say that as a completely inept cook myself, but it's true. Women do not exist to cook you food, and men can make their own goddamned dinners. It isn't that fucking hard to broil a steak, fellas.

I love the Easy Bake Oven, specifically for its practical usage, for its ability to teach kids a viable life skill while still being primarily entertaining, but most of all, I love Easy Bake Oven because of those slick old time visuals. Refined. Elegant. Beautiful. A true travesty that it became so grossly redesigned to fit what most people use these days for convenience sake instead of being something that could still teach kids a real skill. Cooking is an art. Hitting two buttons on a microwave and watching something spin around is not.

A fucking microwave, man. You gotta be kidding me.