Yo-Yo

Did you know that appropriation can be applied to even the simplest of things? It's true. History is rife with examples of other cultures, well, mainly European culture, stealing from far more interesting and diverse cultures, then passing it off as our own. We've been complacent to it time and time again, from using Indian Headdresses as Halloween costumes to saying rap is bad for our kids while praising white rappers for "breaking barriers". But I bet you never expected cultural appropriation to touch something like the fucking Yo-Yo, did ya? Well buckle up, chap, here we go.

A Yo-Yo is another extremely old and very simple toy. Essentially, in laymans terms, you stick your finger through the hole on the string, and roll the Yo-Yo up and down. You can also learn to do a variety of tricks for it, if you feel so inclined. And when I say "extremely old", I am not exaggerating in the slightest, okay? In fact, it's so old that a Greek vase painting circa 440 BC shows a boy playing with a Yo-Yo. Think about that. 440 BC. The Yo-Yo is older than fucking Jesus Christ. Why we don't have a Temple of Yo-Yo is beyond me. If we all simply worshiped the Yo-Yo, things would be in much better shape, I'm sure. Greek records from the period describe the toy as being made out of various materials, including wood, metal or painted terra cota, which is, for the uninitiated, fired clay. These disks were then used to ceremonially offer the toys of youth to certain gods when a child came of age. The Greeks were fucking weird, man. But a cool kind of weird.

I'm Jewish and I'm telling you right now that I'd convert to Yo-Yology in a heartbeat.

But in 1928, Pedro Flores - a more Filipino name I have never heard - immigrated to the United States, and with him came the Yo-Yo Manufacturing Company in Santa Barbara, California. By November 1929, he was running two additional factories, and was apparently quite successful. However, shortly after, an entrepreneur by the name of Donald F. Duncan recognized the potential of this new fad and thusly purchased Flores company, and all its assets, thusly creating the Duncan brand we know today. I'm so glad that good ol' whitey Donald Duncan - who sounds like a cheap Dennis The Menace ripoff strip - was able to recognize the potential of something that was clearly already fucking popular. Good for him. Glad he didn't let that one go unnoticed.

After World War 2, and sales had declined, Duncan tried to reinvigorate the brand and launch a comeback campaign complete with televised ads. Thankfully, however, in a 1965 trademark case, a federal court ruled that the term Yo-Yo had became a regular part of the natural lexicon, and thus Duncan could no longer hold exclusive rights to the term. As a result of the expenses from this court battle, the Duncan family then sold the company name and associated trademarks in 1968, thus ending their reign over the Yo-Yo world.

This is an important and interesting piece of information, I feel, because it sets a precedent that if you create something that becomes so heavily normalized within culture, then you cannot legally own the name anymore. And rightfully so, I mean, thank god nobody could come along and blatantly steal with Duncan had already stolen.

Yo-Yo was a craze, man. There were professional Yo-Yoer's, celebrities who did Yo-Yo exclusively, it was a weird and wild time. My personal favorite fun fact is that, in 1933, the toy was outright banned in Syria because many locals superstitiously blamed the use of them for a severe drought. I find this absolutely goddamned hilarious. Talk about your inane pseudo religious beliefs having a direct impact on the world. Thank god we don't do that anymore, am I right?

By the way, the name Yo-Yo actually comes from the llocano term yoyo, or a cognate word from the Philippines, directly tying it to Filipino culture. I know, I know fellow white person, I can hear your outage. We didn't invent peanut butter, and we didn't invent the Yo-Yo. I too can't believed we missed out on being the super cool dudes who created something as bodaciously awesome as the Yo-Yo. I feel your pain.

I had a Yo-Yo when I was a little girl, as I'm sure many of my peers did, and I was actually quite good at it. I've always been good at things that involved committed hand eye coordination. Why I've always been as good as I have been at video games, especially platformers, though surprisingly enough this didn't help me be a better athlete. I was always terrible at sports, but I hated them anyway, so it was sort of a win/win. Except the Yo-Yo, that was a sport I could get behind. I learned a handful of tricks that impressed a whopping absolutely no one, but I felt good about it, so that was nice. I didn't have much to feel good about regarding myself growing up, so thankfully the Yo-Yo came along and, albeit briefly, gave me a sense of purpose.

For about two months.

Personal opinion: The best Yo-Yos were the ones that lit up and made noises, hands down, no contest. And anyone who says differently isn't just wrong, they're also a liar, and you should disregard them severely, maybe even tell their friends to do the same, because who wants to be friends with liars? Nobody, that's who.